Epic Parenting Fail

School has just gone back to begin the second term and Tomato has decided to start a new extra mural. Because the extra mural ends later than usual, I collect her on my way back from work, so it’s just the two of us in the car driving home.

While driving in the congested traffic, we discuss many different things. Yesterday we were stuck behind a truck for, what seemed like, an eternity. After covering numerous topics, I noticed the number plate on the truck started with the letters FRT. I was suddenly reminded of how, as kids, we used to make up names from the number plates. So, chuckling to myself, I said to Tomato “what word would you come up with using FRT?” [Now let me mention at this point, I was actually using this as a “teaching moment” because Tomato struggles with spelling and English in general, so I was very surprised and impressed with her answer.]

“First” said Tomato proudly! I had to do a second take, because as kids, we just added in a vowel and that was the word, so I was not expecting an extra letter, so I said “oh *gulp* yes, very well done, but if you just add ONE vowel what word do you get?” I saw her straining her brain to get to the answer that was so obvious to me that I was almost ready to blurt it out. But wait…… I saw the realisation dawning on her face….. she looked at me with a naughty look and said “Mommy!! That is a bad word!” Yay!! The teaching moment was paying off, I thought to myself proudly.
“Yes I know it’s not a very nice word, but just say it”
“Do you really want me to say the bad word mommy?” she looked shocked. Hmmm now here’s a bit of an ethical dilemma, I don’t usally allow bad language at home, but now I was asking her to say it. Not ideal, but teaching wins over bad words, so I replied “Sure, just this once, becaise I want to know that you got it right. What vowel did you use?”
“I used a U” [Huh? That alone should have sounded a warning bell.]
“‘U’? No it should be an ‘A’. Sound the word out.”
“I’ve got it!” She shrieked. “Must I really say it?”
“Yes! Say it!” I encouraged her, so pleased that she had finally worked it out……..

“F*ck” she announced proudly! I nearly crashed the car.
“Whaaat?? NOOOOO!!! FART! IT SPELLS FART!! There’s no ‘C’ or ‘K’, how on earth did you get that from FRT?”

*silence*

Tomato was upset with me because she got the word wrong and I was stunned that she got that word from those letters. She was mad because she had sworn, but madder that I had told her to do it and then got mad. I was lementing my foolishness for starting the conversation in the first place.

I will never forget the day that I not only made my daughter say “The F-word” out loud, but I encouraged her to say it. Needless to say, the rest of the drive was about “very bad” words and just “bad” words and how to tell the difference. *Sigh* parenting.