39 Winks
During discussions on whether or not we should have a third child, we were well-aware of the parenting pitfalls we would encounter as we had earned our stripes practicing on the first two offspring. The “Things To Consider List” included things like costs, time, energy and the inevitable sleep deprivation that comes part and parcel of a newborn in the home. In my experience this sleep deprivation continues well into the young child years because as soon as they begin to sleep through the night, they start teething which keeps them awake, my personal favourite at the moment is when he rolls onto his tummy and can’t roll back yet, so he starts to scream. After the first year or so “scared of the dark” takes over and finally we have a plethora of sleep-nabbers ranging from monsters under the bed, to “there’s a mozzie in my net” to last night’s one, “the house just seems spooky”. This of course excludes any real issues such as the duvet slipping off the bed and making them cold, ducky falling down the back of the bed, the child falling out of their bed, wetting their bed, vomiting, illness and of course thunderballs and lightning, very very frightening (Gallileo!!) Anyway the list goes on and on so we were under no illusions as to how sleep deprived we would become (we meaning the Royal we – me).
So I thought I was doing very well. Lettuce is a dream baby and even though he generally wakes up for one bottle during the night, he burps himself and then goes straight back to sleep. Thanks to Pampers I don’t even need to do a nightly nappy change, so I really can’t complain but even so, night after night of late nights and interrupted sleep starts to take its toll on one’s mental faculties. We’ve had a few funny moments with the kids who love pointing out my mistakes. For instance yesterday instead of saying toilet paper, I told them we need toilet powder – yes the stuff that you powder your bum with, apparently. In the morning I’ve told them to put their pyjamas on or they’ll be late for school (while they’re still wearing them), I’ve asked what they want for dinner at 7am and I’ve told them to go and bath instead of brush their teeth! Harmless fun that keeps them amused.
But sometimes it’s not so funny. For instance I have been working on a project that is so exciting but I’ve been burning the midnight oil. So I was at a meeting sitting next to a colleague who I’ve seen around for years but only started working with in January and we get on really well. He had his laptop open and I had mine and when I referenced an item he asked me to mail him the document I had just quoted – pretty standard stuff. So I hit “forward” on my email and then hit a blank with my cursor positioned on To:. I suddenly became really interested in the rest of the meeting discussions but he was keen to see the document and he leaned over and asked if I’d sent it yet so I returned my focus to sending the mail, but now he was watching me closely. After a looong hesitation he leaned over and said “It’s Andre, my name is Andre.” I wanted to die. Not only had I completely forgotten his name, but he realised that I had completely forgotten his name!! *blush*
This same project, as I mentioned has had me putting in a lot of hours. Fortunately I am well-kitted out at my home office. I have a large external monitor, keyboard and mouse because I hate working on a laptop, as well as my personal PC, so I keep work and private stuff completely separate. So when I sat down one morning, coffee in hand, prepared to do a big chunk of the work and my external screen from my laptop wouldn’t work, I was a bit panicky. I tried all the usual things like rebooting etc but I eventually resorted to phoning hubby for some PC Support but I knew that he was having a hectic day too, so this was a last resort. We tried everything, checking the monitor properties, yes I had definitely pushed Fn+F7 and chosen external monitor, we just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. We knew that the monitor was operational as my personal PC was working fine and I eventually heard the dreaded words “I’ll have to have a look at it when I get home.” I tried not to sound hugely irritated, because on the bright side, at least my keyboard and mouse worked. Feeling sorry for me hubby gently suggested that I try rebooting one more time and also suggested that I unplug all the cables and re-attach them because maybe one of the monitor plug pins had gotten squashed when I plugged it in. So while he was still on the phone I unplugged the mouse and keyboard cable and had a look inside and said “there aren’t any pins in here” so he patiently responded (probably rolling his eyes) by saying that it was the other plug that had the pins to which he was referring. “The other plug?……. Huh?” yes I did say that aloud (damn!) and then I started laughing, yes, you guessed it, I had not plugged the monitor cable into the laptop. Coffee was coming out of my nose by this time and hubby was not really feeling the joy after spending 15 minutes of his time with Blondie on the phone. Now the reason why this is even funnier is because I have been working from a laptop on an external monitor for almost 10 years, so I pretty much know what cables need to go where. Previously he has asked stupid questions like “did you plug it in?” but I would take great offense to this on previous occasions telling him that I was not one of those moron users where the problem lies between the desk and the chair, so he daren’t ask. I’m sure this is when those wedding vows ring true – for better or for worse.
But wait, it gets better. We went to my mom last weekend for a visit and she casually asked “how did you like the curry?” My brain went into overdrive – nothing. “What curry?” well that started a tongue lashing of note about how wasteful I am and I probably just threw it out or gave it to the maid. I was a little dumbstruck but searching the dark abyss of my memory was proving fruitless so I had to admit that I really really didn’t remember her giving me said curry. Well, cheesed-off would be putting it mildly, her nose was definitely out of joint as she could even pinpoint where she was standing, saying goodbye to me, handing the vacuum sealed frozen meal to me through the car window while I was rushing off to fetch the girls. I had to believe her, my short-term memory had become temporary unreliable. My concern over my memory rapidly shifted to the pressing issue of a potentially 3 week old lamb vindaloo in a vacuum sealed, now ready-to-explode bag in my beautiful car!! We got home and while hubby cavity-searched my vehicle, I enjoyed a bit of frostbite from unpacking both my freezers and then the maid’s freezer to be absolutely sure that I hadn’t whipped it straight out of the car and into her freezer. Nothing.
Two days passed and while out with friends I received a text from my mother. Usually I don’t read texts while I am with friends but I can count the number of text messages I have received from my mother on one hand, so this had to be an emergency. It was short and sweet and to the point – “humble apologies I gave the curry to your brother.” WHAAAATT???? How to mess with someone’s mind!!! And to make matters worse, it wasn’t as if she had remembered, my brother popped in and casually mentioned “hey that curry you gave me was quite nice” otherwise, to this day I would be thinking I was losing it b-a-d-l-y.
Hoo boy, it was bad enough me blaming my lack of sleep for this memory malfunction, but now it looks like it may be genetic!!
