Losing My Religion

I’ve always stuck to the notion that you answer children’s questions as honestly as possible, but at a level that they can understand.  This philosophy has gotten me into hot water on a few occasions as I stumble over what to say and not to say, frantically assessing in my mind whether this will lead to more questions, what these could possibly be and theorizing whether my children will be scarred for life if I approach death and sex questions too honestly.

Today in the car (usually difficult questions are asked in the car, thank goodness so I can pretend I’m concentrating on driving if the questions are too hard) Tomato starts “Does everyone have a mommy?” [hmm this can go 2 ways, either she’s going to get me on orphans or there is a pregnancy question coming]

I say “yes Sweetie everyone has a mommy” she responds “what about God?” [huh?? do I go the Jesus has Mary route or are we talking God God?].  I respond slowly worried about where this is leading “No because God is not a human so he doesn’t have a mommy” Tomato gives this some thought and then says 

“Oh so God is like Santa, he doesn’t have a mommy either” [aaaaaagggghhh I suddenly remember that I told her over Christmas time that Santa doesn’t have a mother, caught out! No wait……that wasn’t a question, I think that was a statement……..*pause*…… yes I think that was just a statement – phew!]

“Mommy…….” [oh uh]  “the first person on earth doesn’t have a Mommy do they?” [Ah yes, time for good old Adam and Eve] 

 “Well God created the first man and called him Adam.  Adam lived in a beautiful garden but he was lonely, so God took one of his ribs [as the words were coming out of my mouth I was regretting them] and made Eve, his wife and they had children and their children had children and [maybe if I ramble she’ll be distracted by the rib issue] …. that’s why everyone now has a mommy”.  *silence* 

“Mommy…. [wait for it] is God a Doctor?”  [Ummmm]  “No, God is God”

“Well then how did he get the rib out?” *speechless*

“Did Adam have a big scar? Did Eve only have one rib? Why did God need a rib to make Eve if he made Adam without a rib?

Oh my word! Frantically thinking ahead in the story I realised that the talking snake was going to be opening a new can of worms  that I was not prepared for.  

Hoo boy trying to satisfy the 5 year old’s questioning mind is a task I’m obviously not equipped for…….